This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she smelled like a LAN party
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
