he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
