Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize