she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We are two peas in an std pod
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
