Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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