This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
