bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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