You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
