I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
