I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
