she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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