They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
