Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
