Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
