How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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