exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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