He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
