At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
