I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
