My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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