Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
