last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
