it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
