So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
