No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
