I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize