No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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