so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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