we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize