ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize