I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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