people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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