A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
