Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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