Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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