Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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