This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
