Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.

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(330): View more from Ohio

May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious

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(863): View more from Florida

Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf

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(678): View more from Georgia

You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"

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(937): View more from Ohio

He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling

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(828): View more from North Carolina

ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?

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