Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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