but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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