well I can't set my house on fire every night
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
