Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
