I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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