do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
