All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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