good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
