Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
