Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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