Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
