Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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