My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
