Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
