i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
