I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
