I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize