chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
