Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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