This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
