$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
