Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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