Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding

Fav 19 3464 943
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step

Fav 24 3684 831
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(316): View more from Kansas

I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day

Fav 16 1752 4213
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(604): View more from British Columbia

There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.

Fav 7 2971 1493
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(248): View more from Michigan

Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.

Fav 10 3934 1054
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.

Fav 11 738 4401
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(315): View more from New York

He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.

Fav 8 1364 759
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(248): View more from Michigan

I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door

(248): View more from Michigan

Best exit from a building ever

Fav 0 102 126
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(224): View more from Illinois

I was not drunk enough for that final.

Fav 0 13 22
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