He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
