Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
